Wiggle Room

My green thumb only relates to succulents or plants that need very little care. My son gave me a small plant for Mothers' Day that he planted during kindergarten and amazingly it is still alive! It almost didn't make it however... because I failed to give it boundaries.

After almost 20 years of parenting you would think I'd have it all figured out, but I still have difficulties being consistent with the boundaries I set for my children. I realized something one day about our need for parameters and direction when I re-potted the small plant that I cherished because of it's giver.  The plant had more than outgrown the baby food jar and the only pot I could find was large. 100% larger than it's tiny jar. I used it and slowly the plant became weakened, wilted -dying. I realized, remembering the little I know about planting, that the space was just to big, the roots had too much freedom. So I re-potted the fragile plant in a pint size mason jar and with it's smaller, more defined living space and careful care  -it's thriving again.  A purplish pink flower has since bloomed.

Life is always changing, ours is chaotic. Finding balance and defining consistent boundaries so my children feel secure and aren't so aware of the chaos takes practice and continuous flexibility on our part. It's not easy when I'm tired and just want to say yes to avoid complaining (which I do a lot). I've never been good at following the rules myself. Our children know we love them when we care enough to keep them on track. Even our older boys understand that when we ask who-what-when...it's because we love them and it gives them reason to try to do what's right, they know we will be asking. We remind them of who they are. They have the freedom to make their own choices, but understand our expectations.

I am continuously refocusing myself...not because I'm on top of it and always evaluating, but because I am just going along and realize -wow my kids are running a muck (me too)! Having 5 kids ages 20 to 3 sometimes the rules get blurry. What is acceptable for the 12 year old is not for the 6 year old, etc. My kids are free-falling because I've let go all the gaming rules or which movies are okay or when bedtimes are! My family was wilting in a way. I had lost control and one of the things I needed to do to fix part of the problem was to give our daughter a firm bedtime. She being our last babe, we have been real lax about it. So, I started a routine with her and guess what...she loves it! A story and prayer have become her routine at bedtime...space within her metaphoric mason jar. We all need enough wiggle room, freedom to make our own choices and grow. But structure, expectations, and a safe place to rest your spirit is love -and a little food and sunshine sure helps.

Now I'm working on the parental art of letting go...after trying so hard to hold on...

-K

Think of Your Happy Place

Inspiration isn't always easy to find. I find myself too busy to write and I suppose to busy to listen. As I passed one of the local churches on my way to taxi the kids to school I read the marque. It read, 'I plan on living forever...so far so good'. It made me laugh. I enjoy reading the marque, actually look forward to what witty thing it might say next. I am curious about the person behind the messages. Another day it read, 'Can vegetarians eat animal crackers'? My son, Wyatt, was asking this question as we drove and I thought it was another one of his jokes, he has a great sense of humor and marvelous timing. He finally fessed up that he had read it on the marque and ever since we have paid attention as we drive by. Thank you to the marque message maker at the Hilltop church...you have made one person's day a little bit lighter.

I also follow a writer,Mary DeMuth, who inspires me for a variety of reasons. She recently reminded me to take the time to find joy in my life by making a list of things that make me truly happy. I had already done this, so I revisited my list again confirming those simple things that lighten my heart and bring out my smile.  My list can be found here on my blog, I call it, Pockets of Sunshine.  I would like to challenge you to complete this sentence. 'I am happiest when...'

Yesterday I saw a rainbow amidst the dark rain clouds...today I found a moment to write...my kindergartner had his 'send off'...another moves on to middle school...my husband made me smile...and the song keeps playing...~K

The Finish Line is Just Another Beginning

'The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start' ~John Bingham, a.k.a. The Penguin

I LOVE John the Penguin Bingham! Recommended reading for all new runners!
I just finished the last class of a beginner's run program this past weekend. It was an amazing 10 week journey! The class went from panting through a 30 second jog to running a 5k course (3.1 miles). It feels great to have accomplished so much personally, to have crossed that first finish line. I will miss the camaraderie of the group, as we all learned what it means to become a runner. To quite a few of us this was a BIG deal. Some had run before and it was easier for them, but they still seemed to have their own demons to conquer. It was wonderful to be around a group of people all trying to do something that will make a difference in their lives. It has made a huge impact on my life and has found it's way into every thought and action, running is beginning to run my life. :) I look forward to setting my own training goals and meeting new challenges and hopefully will see my fellow runners out running from time to time.

One of the coolest side effects of running is not only the great chemical kamikaze that makes you feel so good, but the family anxious to follow your lead. My kids have been begging to run with me! I can only hope this ripples into generations of healthy Adams. That would make every footfall mean even more. One of the women in the run club that volunteered to help pace the newbie runners got me through some tough moments. I will always be grateful for her enthusiasm and positive encouragement. Her 6 year old granddaughter was also an inspiration to me, as she made every class but one (she had an important date with the dentist). She ran with us, never stopping to walk, waving her hands around as she chatted away to whomever she was running with. She reminded me that running is natural and we should find joy in moving and breathing. Her grandmother wanted her to understand what it means to finish something, to keep the commitment she had made to run and it was exciting to see this little girl cross the finish line with the 2nd best time in the mock 5k, 29 minutes!

'The more I run, the more I want to run and the more I live a life conditioned and influenced and fashioned by my running. And the more I run, the more certain I am that I am heading for my real goal: to become the person I am.' ~George Sheehan, M.D., former  Runners World columnist.

So game on! The real run starts here and I'm looking forward to many finish lines. Nothing is more wonderful than the look on someones face when they finish the race, whatever race it may be, to never quit. I am thankful to those who are willing to give their time to help others improve and achieve without compensation. Just to see others live a healthier lifestyle, grow a sport, and give back to their community.

Just a couple more quotes and I've gotta run!

'Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, are you going to be a wimp, or are you going to be strong today?' ~Peter Maher, two-time Olympic marathoner from Canada

'The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare.' ~Juma Ikangaa, Tanzanian marathoner

Fearless Forty

I recently had my fabulous 40th birthday! I say this with no sarcasm whatsoever. I thought a lot about becoming 40 and decided it wasn't going to be a big deal. I set a goal to achieve before the day of greatness arrived and I did it! I started running and it has become a vital element in my life. On the morning of my birthday I ran longer than I have ever run in my life, 24 minutes! (up to 2 1/2 miles now!) Don't laugh, this is serious. It was amazing! I have running friends who are training for the spring half marathons coming up and my time is but a moment in the shadow of their long training runs, but monumental in my own journey. 9 weeks ago, heavy breathing was my companion on a 90 second jog. I will keep running along and soon will lose the nagging baby weight and earn the coveted body of a runner. And just watch out year 41!

A lot happens in 40 years. I gave birth to my 1st son when I was 20 years old, he has been with me half my life. 5 wonderful children have filled our lives with love. They have given all meaning to my life, I can't imagine not being a mother. When my foxy rock-star man and I met, I didn't want children. I was afraid of what the world would do to them. Then G came along and was just so perfect that I knew that I, the mama bear, could conquer the world and raise him. Then came J, W, S, and T. Life is never 'easy', but I have been married to my best friend for going on 22 years, have a bunch of kiddos, experienced success and failure, lived in the sun and the snow, played hard, laughed hard, and loved lots.

'Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed'. ~Charles Schultz

Time does pass quickly, though I believe that Mr. Schultz is not referring to time, but to the enjoyment of life. I have lots of life left to live and the beautiful almost 3 year old that just pitter-pattered out in footed jammies reminds me of this everyday! 

One of the things I have learned over the years is to never fill yourself up with the 'can't' of others. I found that when I would hear someone else say something was difficult or couldn't be done, I would fear trying or put it off. Most of these things I would eventually accomplish and think, what was the big deal! I do believe you can do anything and I don't let the voices whispering 'can't' stay in my head. The first really big personal experience I have of this came with childbirth. I decided it was important for me to bring my children into the world drug free. You hear a lot about how difficult birth is or how badly it 'hurts' and this gets into the heads of young mothers-to-be and we worry how we will ever be able to get through it. With the thought that they can't, c-sections and epidurals are scheduled. I focused, visualized the birth, thought positively about it, and made sure my doctor knew what I wanted. Through the power of positive thinking, prayer, and determination I successfully gave birth to all 5, naturally. Even S who was 9.6oz! My awesome husband had to bend me in half to help push him out, but we did it together! He supported my decision and understood how important it was to me, and stood firm by my side when it got tough. It helps to have positive support. I know that not every mother is able to have the kind of birth experiences I had, medicine is necessary at times. But so is knowing you have the power within to do anything you choose and not allow life to be pre-decided by all those negative voices. I should have written about making lasagna for the first time...wow...thought that was going to be hard!

So, at 40, I'm making my own rules and am excited to be a fearless forty years young! Just before my birthday I spontaneously wrote a list of everything that makes me happy. It was incredible how full my heart felt and happy...happy that my list was long. Maybe I'll share that, too.

Crack Yourself Up!

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. ~Woody Allen

That's me...the girl trying to hold her milk! I remember when I was little sitting for dinner at my Grandma Pancake's house, the table was nicely set, there may have even been candles... Anyway, something made me laugh and I shot milk clear across the table! I felt horrible at the time, but now I can laugh about it. I'm still trying to keep the liquid in place, as now I have a family that has a way with making me laugh, if I'm not already laughing at myself! I crack myself up all the time! Not purposely, I just do silly scatter-brained things that make me laugh. Then I share them with you know who so he will know what I've done and I laugh even harder! It's always good to share in the humor.

Laughing feels so good even if it is at yourself. It even feels good to laugh for no reason at all, but for your health. I came across an article a while back about Laughter Yoga and it intrigued me. The body, according to scientific study, can not tell the difference between real or fake laughter! Laughter Yoga combines unconditional laughter with yogic breathing. Try it...Oh-Oh-Ah-Ah-Ha-Ha-He-He over and over until you start laughing, you can make funny faces at yourself in the mirror if it helps! Betcha, you're laughing already! This soon turns into real laughter and be careful, it is contagious!

When people are laughing, they're generally not killing each other. ~Alan Alda

Laughter Yoga can be a life changing experience bringing about new energy, happiness, and health. A sense of well being is achieved that helps people cope with the stress of everyday life. Science has proven that laughter, by releasing serotonin into the brain, lowers the level of stress hormones (like cortisol) in the blood which may also help with weight loss. You do actually burn calories while laughing but not enough to lose weight. Overall it's a great antidepressant. Laughter has an incredible impact on the immune system and can influence the course of survival for cancer patients. It has been implemented in many cancer hospitals.

Around the world people enjoy the benefits of laughter. You can even join a Laughter Yoga club! There are over 6000 in 60 countries! But you don't need a club and I'm not promoting Laughter Yoga, but just saying 'downward dog' does make me laugh! I am hoping you will just take the time to laugh. Even if you have to fake it. Oh-Oh-Ah-Ah-Ha-Ha-He-He!!!

The most wasted of days is one without laughter. ~E.E. Cummings

~K

Valentines Day Size Heart

Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart. ~Winnie the Pooh

At the grocery store I witnessed a woman buy the groceries for the man behind her in line. At first I thought she knew him as she said it was a Valentine gift from her. Then she said it was actually from Him, and she pointed up. I don't know what prompted her to do this kindness, but as he reached for his bags I noticed his hands didn't work very well. He was a quiet man, but expressed his gratitude and walked out the door. She had smiled at him just like a friend would and said, 'see you later'!

After she left the cashier told me of another woman who buys groceries for someone on her birthday every year. She came through her line and bought the groceries for the woman behind her, who happened to have 2 full carts! What a way to celebrate your birthday! What a wonderful way to celebrate Valentines' Day!

Happy Valentines' Day!

I am so excited/scared I think I'm gonna die!!! (-screamed just like Agnes in Despicable Me)

I have made the decision to commit myself to a blog. Maybe I should just 'commit' myself for thinking this is a great idea, but the idea here is to think positively. Peter Pan says you can fly if you think a happy thought and of course 'pixie dust'. But that's the magic that occurs when we do carry happiness in our hearts- we fly.

I had my first big epiphany yesterday, while standing in a long line...a Christmas time type of long line at the post office. I frequent the PO almost daily and the line this week has been out the door. It gives you time to think and if you're like me, time to people watch.

As I walked in I was immediately engaged watching an elderly man with full arms thanking another man a couple places up from me. He stepped out of line to package items, a prescription to send back to a friend. Meanwhile a new mother of beautiful twin boys started making her way back through to the end of line with her double stroller after going to the other side of the room, with double stroller, to get an envelope. As she passed the older folks in front of me all wanted to see the new little guys. I even took a looksy at the sweet faces so fresh from heaven. I momentarily thought about how we all long to be closer to God and babies bring us just about as close as we can get. Our spirits gravitate to theirs. As she passed she was saying to the boys, 'Mommy needs a pen'. I was admiring her for unloading both babies in car seats, attaching them to the large stroller and making her way bravely into the busy PO to stand in this awful long line. I stood there thinking I should offer her my pen (I have a purse full!), but I'm still quite shy. I had to talk myself into it, then it was like forever to finally produce a pen, but she was a few people back from me so I left my totes full of  packages and asked her if she wanted to borrow my pen. I took my place back in line and felt good about helping another mama that had her hands full. Silly that such a tiny effort made me happy. Oh, and I wasn't the last person to offer her a pen. :)

One of the clerks called out a mans name, he had forgotten his credit card...then the clerk joked about buying tools with it. I watched the older man after packaging his box get back in line with the other man and how grateful he was to be let back into line, he thanked him over and again. 

It was like magic in that line yesterday, unlike Christmas when the hustle is powered by such an urgency to get everything done that we are short with others. It should be like this at Christmas time. People were chatting, the clerks joking, babies starting to cry, but their mama just talked sweetly to them. The dreaded postal line at least for yesterday gave us all a chance to connect. My faith in humanity a bit restored -my heart a bit fuller. Sounds silly to have felt this way over such small things...guess you had to be there. And I hope that if you are soon, in one of these forever long lines, that you too can see the silverlined opportunity that you've been given.