Fearless Forty

I recently had my fabulous 40th birthday! I say this with no sarcasm whatsoever. I thought a lot about becoming 40 and decided it wasn't going to be a big deal. I set a goal to achieve before the day of greatness arrived and I did it! I started running and it has become a vital element in my life. On the morning of my birthday I ran longer than I have ever run in my life, 24 minutes! (up to 2 1/2 miles now!) Don't laugh, this is serious. It was amazing! I have running friends who are training for the spring half marathons coming up and my time is but a moment in the shadow of their long training runs, but monumental in my own journey. 9 weeks ago, heavy breathing was my companion on a 90 second jog. I will keep running along and soon will lose the nagging baby weight and earn the coveted body of a runner. And just watch out year 41!

A lot happens in 40 years. I gave birth to my 1st son when I was 20 years old, he has been with me half my life. 5 wonderful children have filled our lives with love. They have given all meaning to my life, I can't imagine not being a mother. When my foxy rock-star man and I met, I didn't want children. I was afraid of what the world would do to them. Then G came along and was just so perfect that I knew that I, the mama bear, could conquer the world and raise him. Then came J, W, S, and T. Life is never 'easy', but I have been married to my best friend for going on 22 years, have a bunch of kiddos, experienced success and failure, lived in the sun and the snow, played hard, laughed hard, and loved lots.

'Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed'. ~Charles Schultz

Time does pass quickly, though I believe that Mr. Schultz is not referring to time, but to the enjoyment of life. I have lots of life left to live and the beautiful almost 3 year old that just pitter-pattered out in footed jammies reminds me of this everyday! 

One of the things I have learned over the years is to never fill yourself up with the 'can't' of others. I found that when I would hear someone else say something was difficult or couldn't be done, I would fear trying or put it off. Most of these things I would eventually accomplish and think, what was the big deal! I do believe you can do anything and I don't let the voices whispering 'can't' stay in my head. The first really big personal experience I have of this came with childbirth. I decided it was important for me to bring my children into the world drug free. You hear a lot about how difficult birth is or how badly it 'hurts' and this gets into the heads of young mothers-to-be and we worry how we will ever be able to get through it. With the thought that they can't, c-sections and epidurals are scheduled. I focused, visualized the birth, thought positively about it, and made sure my doctor knew what I wanted. Through the power of positive thinking, prayer, and determination I successfully gave birth to all 5, naturally. Even S who was 9.6oz! My awesome husband had to bend me in half to help push him out, but we did it together! He supported my decision and understood how important it was to me, and stood firm by my side when it got tough. It helps to have positive support. I know that not every mother is able to have the kind of birth experiences I had, medicine is necessary at times. But so is knowing you have the power within to do anything you choose and not allow life to be pre-decided by all those negative voices. I should have written about making lasagna for the first time...wow...thought that was going to be hard!

So, at 40, I'm making my own rules and am excited to be a fearless forty years young! Just before my birthday I spontaneously wrote a list of everything that makes me happy. It was incredible how full my heart felt and happy...happy that my list was long. Maybe I'll share that, too.